butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
