She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
