Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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