her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
