I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
