Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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