So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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