Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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