HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
