If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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