you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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