oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
