I am puke
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I intend to get homeless drunk
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
