what day is it and did you see me today?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
