I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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