I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
