A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
