Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
