you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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