Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
