Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
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I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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