She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
