After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
