Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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