All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
These tits shall not be calmed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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