well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
