Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize