Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
