Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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