I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
