No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
