its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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