Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
