I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
