You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
