im six kinds of drunk right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
