Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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