We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
