Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
