It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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