Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
