normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
