I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
