I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
