I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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