Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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