Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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