my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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