I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
