I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
