just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
