I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
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Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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