a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
