I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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