There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
