Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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