Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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