need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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