I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
