i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
