I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he thought i was a dude.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
