There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize